One of the things that we focus on at the beginning of my B.E.S.T. Seminars is making a "Heart Connection" with your children.
One of the great ways to do that is by spending time with them where you are not looking for any result. When was the last time you asked your child what they wanted to do and just did it with them? When was the last time you just sat and listened to them without giving them a bunch of advice or interupting them? When was the last time that you tickled them to the floor and both ended up laughing?
What kind of "heart connection" do you and your child have?
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Friday, September 4, 2009
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Rules VS. Relationship
What is one of the most important goals of parenting? Obedience
We are all working so hard to get our children to learn to obey so that they can be successful functioning adults who are contributing to society.
Then what is the problem. I meet with so many people in my life coaching who are frustrated with their children, spouses, families or business associates because they won't do things the way that they feel they should be done.
It is about time that we realize the neither you nor I can make anyone do anything without a major powerstruggle where one wins and the other loses. But in reality when that happens both parties really lose!
All of us were created to be free and deep down in our souls that is a struggle that begins as a child. We should be working to create children and young people who understand the power of freedom of choice and with it the consequences that come with a poor decision. That creates great self confidence as good decisions are made and the benefits that come with them. Thus motivating to move forward without fear of failure as they make decisions in the future.
How does this start? Simply by creating a heart connection with the person. This gives them the freedom to be who they are and fail without fear of rejection. Heart connections are based on who you are and not what you do or do not do.
Start by just telling your child how glad that you are they are your child. (If you can repeat this in a gentle manner even if they are trying you, that is awesome!)
If it is a spouse or coworker you can adjust it.
All people want to love and be loved, be valued and be needed. It is a deep craving of our souls.
Start to make a soul connection today.
We are all working so hard to get our children to learn to obey so that they can be successful functioning adults who are contributing to society.
Then what is the problem. I meet with so many people in my life coaching who are frustrated with their children, spouses, families or business associates because they won't do things the way that they feel they should be done.
It is about time that we realize the neither you nor I can make anyone do anything without a major powerstruggle where one wins and the other loses. But in reality when that happens both parties really lose!
All of us were created to be free and deep down in our souls that is a struggle that begins as a child. We should be working to create children and young people who understand the power of freedom of choice and with it the consequences that come with a poor decision. That creates great self confidence as good decisions are made and the benefits that come with them. Thus motivating to move forward without fear of failure as they make decisions in the future.
How does this start? Simply by creating a heart connection with the person. This gives them the freedom to be who they are and fail without fear of rejection. Heart connections are based on who you are and not what you do or do not do.
Start by just telling your child how glad that you are they are your child. (If you can repeat this in a gentle manner even if they are trying you, that is awesome!)
If it is a spouse or coworker you can adjust it.
All people want to love and be loved, be valued and be needed. It is a deep craving of our souls.
Start to make a soul connection today.
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About Me
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- Nanette Flynn
- Nanette is the Director for Abundant Life Ranch and works as a Life Coach for children, teens, adults, recovery groups and sports and special interest groups.