Heart Connection

One of the things that we focus on at the beginning of my B.E.S.T. Seminars is making a "Heart Connection" with your children.

One of the great ways to do that is by spending time with them where you are not looking for any result. When was the last time you asked your child what they wanted to do and just did it with them? When was the last time you just sat and listened to them without giving them a bunch of advice or interupting them? When was the last time that you tickled them to the floor and both ended up laughing?

What kind of "heart connection" do you and your child have?

Rules VS. Relationship

What is one of the most important goals of parenting? Obedience

We are all working so hard to get our children to learn to obey so that they can be successful functioning adults who are contributing to society.

Then what is the problem. I meet with so many people in my life coaching who are frustrated with their children, spouses, families or business associates because they won't do things the way that they feel they should be done.

It is about time that we realize the neither you nor I can make anyone do anything without a major powerstruggle where one wins and the other loses. But in reality when that happens both parties really lose!

All of us were created to be free and deep down in our souls that is a struggle that begins as a child. We should be working to create children and young people who understand the power of freedom of choice and with it the consequences that come with a poor decision. That creates great self confidence as good decisions are made and the benefits that come with them. Thus motivating to move forward without fear of failure as they make decisions in the future.

How does this start? Simply by creating a heart connection with the person. This gives them the freedom to be who they are and fail without fear of rejection. Heart connections are based on who you are and not what you do or do not do.

Start by just telling your child how glad that you are they are your child. (If you can repeat this in a gentle manner even if they are trying you, that is awesome!)

If it is a spouse or coworker you can adjust it.

All people want to love and be loved, be valued and be needed. It is a deep craving of our souls.

Start to make a soul connection today.

Back to School

Well, it is that time of year again when we hang up the swimsuits and the flip flops and take out the back packs and the notebooks. Along with that we begin to think about juggling our schedules between lessons, sports, work and home life.

Sounds like a three ring circus and just those things alone would qualify but then if you add some stressful relationships between parent and child, teacher and child, siblings, work or friends and you have what?????

STRESS ! That is when we want to look at everyone else and everything else and start the blame game.

What do you need? A coach? A cheerleader? Boundaries for yourself? A new life?

There is hope. Lots of people learn to handle the many things that life throws at them on a daily basis. How do you cope? Share your ideas!

Zingers, Whammies, and Whollups

It is always hard for parents to handle when their children or teens are hurt by other children with words. But one of the best things that you can do as a parent for your child and for yourself is learn how to handle the zingers, whammies, and whollups.

When you realize that you have been hit with words that hurt, we often overreact and we can learn to control our reactions to others by controlling our thinking at the moment. We must remember that we can never control what others think or say but only the thoughts and reactions or actions that we take in regards to what was said or done.

This empowers us and our children to handle difficult situations without being crippled by our own thinking.

Are you tired of being the "bad guy" to your kids?

So many parents are trying to work with their children and be the best parents that they can. Yet they find themselves arguing and frustrated with their vhildren at every turn. Do you try to set boundaries for your children only to find that they are angry with you and you are the "bad guy"?

Children at their B.E.S.T. is a program that helps train parents, educators and anyone else dealing with young people to apply BEST- Boundaries with Empathy produce Solutions and Trust. This teaches young people to take responsibility for themselves and solve their problems in a safe environment. Wouldn't you like to stay calm and live peaceably with your children?